Amber Agha – The Valkyries (2018)

The Valkyries

They’re circling overhead
with bayonets of the past
sensing the fear the blood
They’re circling around me
wishing me to fail
because then
then I shall fall into their arms again
Saviours they look to be
Of me
I fall into razor arms ready to cut me till I bleed
Ready to drain me till I die
Because death seems the better place to be

They’re circling around me
sharpening their teeth
on memories of the past
poking and provoking me
why this dance
why this laughter
why me

They sense my fragility
they smell the blood
and come in for the kill
I fight back
get out my old ancient claws
sharpen those talons
I said I would never use again
but the nails are old
and they snap to the touch
hoping that the leeching will purge me of the shadows that contaminate my soul
hoping that the leaching will cleanse me of the demons that dance in my cells
hoping that the leaching will bring me home
and close the gateways to hell

They’re dancing on my grave
thats yet to be dug
they’re dancing on my soul
thats yet to even fly
they take my dreams and annihilate them
desecrate them
till they lie
in the mud
and dirt
once again those wings are clipped and I cannot fly
I do this to myself
fall for the sweet musk of the devil time and again
let him clasp me by the throat take me across landscapes I have not wanted to know
and do with me as he will
least its love I say
least its touch

The angels fly overhead
watching weeping loving
I cannot see them
my eyes are shuttered out to the light even that which is inside me is dead
my ears are closed I cannot hear them
just stories of the past some made up some not
play out and out in the mind
have I made them up to justify a pain that gnaws away and has no real name
the pain of a generation that left a long time ago
do we make the world as it is or does it unmake us
do we create our own reality or do unseen forces mould and bend our dreams from fantasy to nightmare
who is really holding the strings here
I thought it was me
I looked up looked above
and realised it was all a joke being played upon me
I will not die upon the altar of fear
I will not lose my dreams in seas of forgetfulness
we did have union once
we did come from love
and my natural home is in his arms
when he calls me home I will come
I will not wait eternity for his love
I will not wait eternity for his strength to guide me back
I must take the reigns I must steer this ship
I must own my heart before it is diced again and fed to the vultures up above

– Amber Agha (2018)AA_7588

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